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School Edu-ma-cation

School is generally considered, in Hindu mythology, as a temple of worship. True. But for some it  is rather a death's door where students are slaughtered mercilessly. But now-a-days, are school doing what is correct? Or rather they are just increasing the competition between friends and decreasing their friendship. All of us might have experienced that when your friend fails, it hurts but only a little and if he comes first and you second, then the wound is very deep and painful. As portrayed in Student of the Year and 3 Idiots, the teacher forces the student for competition thereby decreasing their friendships. School are certainly making the life of students A BITCH.

 The condition is more worsened when the results are out. Coming second feels like as if being the first looser. Aptly saying, the 'second guy' is exasperated, abased and catatonic. He looks on his report card as if he is castrated.

 Enough of all those philosophical issues. Time to go modern and to the point.

 Every now and again when I hear students whine about super hard final exams, endless assignments, and homework which they hardly do, I think to myself, “What did I actually learn in school?” Here, I explore this topic in moderate detail.

Things I learnt in school :
  1. Shakespeare had enough spare time, so he wrote all those play and quotations. Even Rakshit can write better than him when it comes to quotations.
  2. Contemporary history and The Matrix are nearly the same (in general).
  3. Pavlov was a jerk to his dog.
  4. Modern poetry doesn't needs to rhyme.
  5. MS Office is the devil's handy-work.
  6. Hitler didn't had a girlfriend.
  7. Every story writer has stolen my ideas before I wrote them :P
  8. The twisted and shady side of chiaroscuro
  9. Rapping will be introduced in Hindi poetry shortly.
  10. Shakespeare is the real father of rapping
  11. Reproductive system teaches us that S#IT Happens.
  12. Anus is not the front part, rather its the round fleshy back part.

Things I didn't learn in school:
  1. Photography
  2. How long it takes to boil an egg
  3. Where all the pocket money goes and who steals it
  4. Music (guitar or any other instruments)
  5. Dressing sense
  6. Algorithm of shitting (everyone should learn this)
  7. How to impress a girl
  8. Any impressive tricks on computer.
  9. Geeks look smart only in school. Outside they suck.
  10. How to fix broken electronics
  11. The complexity of screwdriver heads ( esp. choosing the right one for a particular screw).
  12. Anything about grout.

Share with me your experiences in the school and what you learnt or not. Leave it in the comment.
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