Life....served 'crushed' up!

I know that we might never ever be together but still I am writing this to make you understand how much I love you. I know that when you will read this we will be long gone and dusted and you might have even forgotten me and if not, you will only remember me as just a mere man in billions. But my heart has only burnt with love for you, the only one i want in billions, and nothing can change it. But then suddenly the reality kicks me in my butt and reminds me of my life I'm missing out on. It feels like a bad dream and I certainly need to wake up.

It all started with a friend request and who knew that one day my heart will start beating for you as if it was made to do so. I miss being the one who made you laugh, happy and even mad. You loved teasing me and I loved getting teased by you. You used to call me 'paagal' and yes, I am 'paagal', 'paagal' for you.

Lately I have been losing sleep, dreaming about the things that we could be had there been a different ray of hope. Everyday the sun rises and sets, but you, my sunshine, have taken away the light out of my life when you walked away and since then, I have never seen sunlight.

Every night I wake up in the middle of my sleep, grab my phone and try to read our chats. It makes me smile, laugh and cry. I was too young and too dumb to realize that you were never mine. But now, when life has startled out on me, this fact becomes even more evident. Every movie I watch, every song I listen, all reminds me of you. I miss playing guitar for you. I miss writing poems for you. I miss capturing you in my camera and I miss your killer eyes killing me.

Once in our lifetime we find someone who we can trust with our whole world. I truly miss our future and dreams, that will, probably, never be true. You asked me whether I can trust you with everything, but you didn't understood that you were everything to me and will be everything to me.

This may be my end in your life but I will wait for you. I am not sure for how long I will have to wait but I will do so tirelessly because if I can't be with you, I can't be with anybody else. You were never mine and so I will never lose you. I will wait for you to open my heart's door because the vacancy set there is your space, you own it. I will do so- if it is hard to wait for something that you know will never be true, then it is even harder to let go off someone who means everything to you. May be someday you will see me again. We can hold hands then and we will never see the end.

"Even if you want to go alone,

I will still love you when tomorrow comes,

If you need someone to ease the pain,

You can lean on me, my love will still remain."

PS- You will all be thinking that this is my story...well...that's your take, try figuring out yourselves. And the last four lines is from Michael Learns to Rock's song "complicated heart"